


But Why?

by BludSukker



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BludSukker/pseuds/BludSukker
Summary: Spinel didn't understand why she was abandoned.
Relationships: Pink Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 28





	But Why?

She didn’t get it. 6 millennia she spent waiting; for someone who would never come. Why? She knew why she waited, she just wanted to make Her proud. To do whatever She wanted to make Her happy was literally her purpose, and she liked doing it!

But why was she left behind?

Disorganized thoughts continued to flow through her mind just as easily as tears flowed down her face. In all her existence, Spinel had never felt sadness, fear as she was paraded around the other diamonds who judged her every move before being gifted to Pink? She sure had felt that; she didn’t want to disappoint anyone! Anger, at how miserable Pink looked after finally being let out of that terrible tower? Yeah! Of course she did!

Spinel had dealt with negative emotions before, it helped her alleviate those feelings in Her Diamond. Being able to recognize those feelings was important!

Yet this was all too much. Spinel felt so worthless, did she really mean that little to Her? She couldn’t stop herself from crying, she couldn’t hold down the sobbing, especially when it turned from sobbing to wailing out in pain. There was no one to help her, to comfort her. Not like what Spinel used to be for Pink.

She felt herself breaking, from the inside out.

Eventually, she tried to do just that.

A heart-shaped gemstone clattered on the stonework.

-

The time it took for her to reform felt too short. Spinel wanted a few more moments that she didn’t need to be conscious for. Because the hurting was back, or rather, still there. It just turned from acute and overwhelming, to dull and throbbing.

Spinel felt her form, touching every part of herself, she knew instinctively that she had changed. The ache in her heart shaped gem grew when she found out she was right. It seemed like every part of her was “sharper”, the rounded edges had turned to points. It looked as if her despair had exploded out of her and what she was now was the broken pieces having been put back together.

The pink gem accepted this was how she looked now. Just like how the neglected performer now accepted the poisonous thoughts that seeped into her mind. The scorned clown felt a new feeling in her blossom into something great and terrible.

Hate.

The jagged mess hated how that stupid planet took Pink from her. How Her “other friends” had _kept_ her there. Most especially she hated the organic thing that caused Her to _disappear_.

Spinel never left the garden, what left that day was something that had devoured her, and left the gem changed, for the worst.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever piece of, writing that I have posted to... uh, anywhere. I sure hope it makes sense.


End file.
